Kisses from Kenya Episode 3: Voting Tales

Premiered on 8 Dec 2025  Kisses From Kenya

What does it mean to vote for a country you no longer live in, and how does distance change your relationship to fear, safety, and home? In this episode of Kisses from Kenya, we talk about voting abroad, American democracy, and the emotional cost of returning to the United States.

In Episode 3, Brendan and Vuyanzi unpack the realities of being overseas voters. Vuyanzi reflects on antiquated voting practices in the United States, especially through the lens of New York, and the frustration of navigating systems that feel outdated and exclusionary. Brendan explores his fears about returning to the U.S., shaped by political violence, queer visibility, gun culture, and the question of whether home still feels safe.

Together they discuss civic responsibility, distance, belonging, and what it means to care deeply about a country that often feels increasingly unstable from afar.

This episode explores voting rights, democracy, safety, identity, diaspora life, and the emotional contradictions of loving a place you have left.

Chapters

• Introduction
• Whose America Is It Anyway?
• Voting from abroad
• Fear, safety, and returning home
• What democracy feels like at a distance
• Closing thoughts

Transcript

Vuyanzi 0:06

Hey, Kisses from Kenya is produced by Democrats Abroad Kenya, but everything you hear in this podcast reflects our personal perspectives.

Brendan 0:20

Yes, and I think we say it should be taken as the official stance of Democrats Abroad Kenya, Democrats Abroad Global, or the Democratic Party. And this is an entertainment space and not an official policy platform.

Vuyanzi 0:33

Thank you. Welcome to Kisses from Kenya. I am Vuyanzi. It is where we love democracy if it acts right.

Brendan 0:44

And I'm Brendan. Just trying to vote without needing a fax machine or divine intervention.

Vuyanzi 0:50

Oh gosh. Okay. So um, oh, funny thing happened for you.

Brendan 0:56

Um I said I was gonna have something. And now I know.

Vuyanzi 1:01

Oh, okay. I think it's okay. It's okay. Because it's a laugh.

Brendan 1:07

This week? I don't even know what day it is.

Vuyanzi 1:11

Um okay. This is bad because if this person heard this, then they'd find out what happened. Well, lucky for you, nobody watches us. So it works. That was actually really good. Um, so it's this volunteer person, and I think I don't think it's a real crush, this guy who I'm working with. I think it's just a man being around.

Brendan 1:37

Is it different than like the big one who came together?

Vuyanzi 1:40

No, it's the big one. It's the big one. But it's just because we're working together, but I do find him very wonka wonka wonka. And so his hair, we were traveling someplace and he has locks, and so he was sitting in front of me, and I don't think he knew it, but I was playing with his hair. And then one time he went like this, and I was like, So he didn't see. I'm such a weirdo. Those are facts. Um the more you know, the more so uh that would be my funny story. I was like a child. Every time he turned around, I moved back my hands.

Brendan 2:24

Well, I left that for him.

Vuyanzi 2:26

Yeah, anytime you want to breed my non-existence, well, I'm I would never have locks, but well, yeah, that's yeah, that could be an episode. That is a real episode. Why? Okay, so anyway, though, um I think for now, let me transition to our segment called Whose America Is It Anyway? All right, so um apparently my absentee ballot, which I'll discuss a little bit more about this year, uh, when I send it, people don't people just want to throw it out when we're voting abroad. Because as much as we're laughing, I mean, we're part of the Democrats abroad and we want to be represented. And so a couple of headlines this week that happened. And one was um that wait, sorry. Oh, you oh am I looking at the I'm looking at the fourth? Oh sorry, my eyes went down.

Brendan 3:34

No, the thing is it looks a little bit different because on your trapping.

Vuyanzi 3:38

Okay, so yeah, just make it a little bit bigger.

Brendan 3:40

Okay, sorry. Is that okay? Yeah, sorry. Granny Smith over here needs a little extra today, okay? Is that large large enough?

Vuyanzi 3:53

Yes, I'm sorry. Leave it just like that. Do not shrink it. Thank you. Okay, um, let me just tell you some of the headlines. If you guys only saw how big the text was right now, you'd be like, this is ridiculous. Wear glasses. I swear to you, I'm far-sighted, but when it's microscopic.

Brendan 4:09

Well, I'm like looking at your phone because it's like based on this. I would expect you to have the ones that people be like looking over people's shoulder on the bed, and it's like, I'm gonna eat your ass when I get from the.

Vuyanzi 4:24

Show the people, these are small. This is but okay, let me just I just want to say this about my eyes. That means biomarking. When I start when I start this, right? I start getting really like I get a little bit nervous. When I get a little bit nervous, my vision is not as good. So believe it or not, even though we're sitting here in Brendan's home that he's made very cozy for us, I still have nerves.

Brendan 4:51

Her lens is shrinking all her glad are also shrinking that down earlier before we started recording.

Vuyanzi 5:00

Basically, a lot of things are happening over here. Let's just do really quickly. Okay, number one, over 4,000 overseas voter ballots challenged in Pennsylvania. Thoughts?

Brendan 5:13

And y'all, what's crazy is like, I mean, I mean, like, first of all, it's 2025. And like, y'all can imagine. We're sitting here in Nairobi where honestly the Wi-Fi is better here than Pennsylvania's voting system, if I'm just being honest. Because it's like you gotta send it like with like the Pony Express, basically, because these people don't want nothing like through an email, nothing. Like, you gotta send it through like an envelope, which if you can imagine, I mean, when I send stuff through the like through the regular mail, because like you know, my mama sometimes should be she'd be sending cards. She she loves a good greedy card. Joan Joan loves a greedy card. So Joan like Joan's greedy card from like St. Patrick's Day 2024 might arrive like this month. So y'all can imagine, like, you're trying to send your ballot and it's like you don't even know.

Vuyanzi 6:03

Like first of all, last year, well, yeah, I might as well share this story now because um last year I had to send it through DHL and pay like 50 bucks. Yeah. Just to make sure that it could get there a week later.

Brendan 6:17

And then on top of that, like, you know, the the I don't know if that is that there's a spirit in the room. Holy Spirit. Sorry. Well I don't need to do it.

Vuyanzi 6:30

Um that's me catching the Holy Ghost.

Brendan 6:37

I mean, I already kicked my shoes off.

Vuyanzi 6:40

Don't get me started.

Brendan 6:49

Um, but it's like, y'all, I I think what's crazy, I mean, I feel like every single one that we're looking at here on the headlines, there's Pennsylvania, there's Michigan, North Carolina, like these are all states where it's already so hard to vote as it is. And then you like what do we say have the unmitigated gall to sit here and be like, well, they faked it. And I'm like, the only one faking it, sir, is your wife. So it's it's crazy to me, right? Because it's like I feel like there's already so many barriers in place, even for like voters who are voting in the states, right? Because like I'm sure, like, I'm sure you remember voting in person in New York. Yeah, well, and you know what I mean.

Vuyanzi 7:38

First of all, 100% you had to um go. And so the paper, the non-handwriting experts are sitting there in that ledger, and and then they they literally say like this Oh shoot. You okay over there? Are you okay? Okay.

Brendan 8:01

She got a little too excited.

Vuyanzi 8:02

I know, but it's like she won't do the left. The volunteers that are there every year, they're looking at is it the right handwriting? Do what do you know? What do you think?

Brendan 8:14

I remember like when I was voting in college, because you know, I went to school in western New York, but I grew up in upstate New York, like they would not allow me to vote in Geneva where I was. I literally like had would have had to get into a car, drive to Albany, and show up at my voter precinct there until I like transferred it, which required a whole like.

Vuyanzi 8:36

It is, it is, and even but and and I talked about sending it on DHL before that. That was a whole ordeal. So I had to call my county, and I'm gonna I'm going to say it's Rockland County, New York. I'm gonna have to just put it on blast. So I'm calling. First of all, people are like, wait, what? You you want to vote from another country? Uh, I think it's this this uh this web address. And so I went to one web address, and I'm like, I called back, I'm like, this is a little confusing. And so then there was this one nice lady there. She's like, okay, I'll get the information. So the information about how to vote was even hard to gain access to. And finally, that's when there's something. And then finally, when I did, like, you know, I had to print it out. You had to print out the envelope.

Brendan 9:29

The noise is a lot. You have to like print out the affidavit and print out this. And it's like you have to like tape it a certain way.

Vuyanzi 9:36

And if you put too much tape on it, oh yes, oh no, there was a certain way I was okay, I was working a long time to try to fold it correctly. Yeah. Yeah, like not block, not A or B or C. Yeah. So anyway, um, in 2025, I just kept thinking, New York is such is known to be such a progressive state, yet the voting practices, voting abroad practices are still like that. What the bleedy bleep bleep.

Brendan 10:08

Anyway, I think that's actually a great segue into our um main topic for today, which I think about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, but I think like I don't know, like what's interesting about it, like for me, is like, you know, I vote in Louisiana, which, you know, like literally like my Secretary of State, um who's like a Trumpie. Um has like a whole thing on her like web page that's all about like, you know, thank you President Trump for like helping like save the vote for the illegal. Um what the Sam Hill? But so I live in a state where theoretically everyone is so scared and worried about like security of the ballot, and literally all I have to do is fax fight. Which I mean, I know it sounds like something from like 1972, which it is, of like, you know, we're getting like I'm putting a fax through Hold on. Well, like I mean, because you can do it via web fax, like it's actually incredibly simple for me to do it. I get a confirmation that was delivered in real time, and I'm able to, if I want to, I can call my county clerk's office and be like, Did you get it? Which, like, if I call in real time, they'll be they'll literally go over to the fax machine and check if it like popped out.

Vuyanzi 11:35

I mean like, yeah, yeah.

Brendan 11:38

If not, like I get an email that's like your like your ballot status has been updated, and then it's like it's done.

Vuyanzi 11:45

And that's Louisiana, a red state.

Brendan 11:47

Well, that was my reflection when I was doing the the tabling for um the 2020, well, both in 2020 and 2024, was like, you know, they would give us like the map that was color-coded based on like which ones are email return, which ones are mail return only, which ones have multiple options, which ones are facts, which it's like us in California and Florida.

Vuyanzi 12:08

But um I remembered that when we were doing the tabling because you actually Brendan was in charge of it and he prepped us very well. Thank you. Thank you for uh the presidential race. Uh apparently we didn't table enough. Um but anyway. We did our part, right? We we did, we did. But actually, let's go to that bat ballot a second because I do have a confession. We should have it's confession time.

Brendan 12:37

That episode of Real Housewives where Vivi was like, a white fridge?

Vuyanzi 12:44

No, I don't.

Brendan 12:49

She like got out of the car and she's like, ooh, the ghetto.

Vuyanzi 12:54

I did see that.

Brendan 12:55

I mean, it goes into like I think it was Sheree's house, and she's like, she had a white fridge. We gotta get her out of here. And I feel like Ronnie County's like, the county equivalent of that.

Vuyanzi 13:09

Let me tell you, I printed out the ballot. I looked on it. The only Democrats that I saw on it, well, there was a real Democrat on it, and I'm sorry because I know Tiffany, and her name was on there, but um Yeah, no, well, because it's on there, right? It was a public, but she was the only real Democrat on there. Every single office in the county of Rockland was Republican and Republican candidate, and even if they were Democrats, they were still Republicans, except for her.

Brendan 13:47

No, I mean, like, like the thing is, I mean, I'm used, I mean, Louisiana, I'm used to having to like look at the different Republican candidates and be like, which one of you is like not terrible? But what I what I find sometimes is like like like you're saying, it's like like there were I think we had a court judge race this year where when I actually went and looked at what they had said, I was like, these are two like moderate Democrats. But it's like I think they know that they wouldn't be able to like get anywhere.

Vuyanzi 14:17

This it's it's insane because even if it was, let's say, John Smith, he was he was on both the Republican and the Democrat line. I'm like, how do you do it? Yeah, that's was multiple candidates. So I'm like, are the Republicans Republicans or are they Democrats? This is the first time because I've been involved in some organization, and this is the first time that I've seen it like that. And maybe that's the Trump effect that everyone, even if they're moderate Democrats, that everyone needs to label themselves as Republicans.

Brendan 14:46

Or unless they I mean, if they were on both party lines, it could be that they were like unopposed and the opposing party just decided to endorse them.

Vuyanzi 14:56

Well, I don't know because I didn't send in the ballot.

Brendan 15:01

We'll deal with that later. Off camera. But what like the crazy thing to me is that like like most Republican states, it actually is easier to vote from. Like it's actually democratic states that have the most like old school um policies. Why? I mean, I have my feelings, but okay.

Vuyanzi 15:23

What's your feelings? I'm just curious. We recognize that the next thing he says isn't factual, but feelings. I still want to hear that. Right.

Brendan 15:29

Feeling is not factual, and I'm not speaking in any capacity as a member of Democrats abroad, I'm just speaking as like we have that disclaimer.

Vuyanzi 15:36

We need at the beginning, middle, and end.

Brendan 15:39

But I I feel like, you know, I think that there is a perception that like voters from abroad, at least traditionally, have mostly been the military and therefore have like mostly been more conservative, regardless of party. And I think that that therefore has maybe not incentivized updating some of those policies. Um which I don't want to make any like direct, you know, um accusations. Do it. I'm not trying to have their phone be wrinkling whereas the ones like, I heard they use this. But but I think there like there's a reason then, right? Where like why red states, you know, may traditionally have made it easier to vote from overseas because they also probably would have made an assumption, right? Like you make an assumption that most of these are friendly votes, and I'm a Republican Secretary of State, so let me facilitate the process. Okay, but either way, like like we said, it's like there's so many steps to get there anyway. Like it's just not logical to think that like people are out here, you know, committing fraud.

Vuyanzi 16:56

And it feels like there's so many steps, and it feels like the people who are supposed to know the steps don't know the steps. Anyway, okay, I feel emotionally charged by this. Uh, let's talk about some joyful things.

Brendan 17:14

So, I mean, mine, you know, it's gonna be dated by the time this comes out, but y'all are gonna get it anyway. Because right now it's election week and Zorom Dani has just won the marrow race in New York City. And I think what was so exciting as like a gay person like watching it was you know, he has been unabashed in his support for the LGBTQ community, despite the fact that they're like, he's gonna do Sharia law, and I'm like, uh that is so are we still doing are are people still doing that Sharia?

Vuyanzi 17:44

Well, you know, Sharia law, you know, come on.

Brendan 17:47

Y'all's law is worse than Sharia Law. So um if we just gonna keep it at home, that way. But I um I think well, number one, like even within people that support the LGB, well, let me say people that support the LGB community, which is like a lot of people on the progressive side, often ignore the T and the Q because it's like not as safe. Um, but Zora, like from the beginning, has been like, you know, trans people, like trans rights are human rights, like it doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. Um, so that was exciting. And then of course there was like the clip of him like going like he went on like a like a pup crawl on like weekend was literally in like a Manhattan game. Gay bar, yes. Partying, okay? That's just like it just made me so happy that it's like like there's like the the like the memes that have been going around on Twitter, like you know, woke is so back, everyone like bring back your woke. It's 2025.

Vuyanzi 18:47

Yes, yes, yes. And it's just such a let us breathe.

Brendan 18:50

Well, it's like I I'm I'm happy that there is like objective proof that you can be a hundred percent in support of my people, and like it doesn't have to be a liability.

Vuyanzi 19:02

So it I I love it for you, and um mine is that I went to a an informal settlement here in Nairobi with another fellow coach, and we went to talk to the youth, but not talk at them. We went to hear them and listen exactly, and that's exactly what we did. We talked about their goals for a year from now. And first, a lot of them were saying goals that you know they're based upon what they know. However, what my uh colleagues said to them was okay, these things are what are what you know, but I want you to think about something that you have never seen before. By the end of that session, that section of things they've never seen, but they were wanted to create was more than the other one. There were so many ideas already inside of them. So to see them, and even of course, it was kind of giggly because who asked them in this informal settlement? So, those of you watching abroad, that just means that it is a very poor area, and these specific students or children are there, they come from the streets, so they're orphans who were left on the streets. So to hear these kids talk about the ideas that they're creating and that they want to do, it felt uh, like so right. And uh yeah, that was my black joy. Very black joy. Yeah.

Brendan 20:35

Uh well, that brings us to the end of this episode. Yeah. Which I'm happy we're ending on such a positive note to have to talk about how these crazy ass people are trying to.

Vuyanzi 20:45

Okay, that's why I was like, we gotta end that conversation. Like, there was a whole other section.

Brendan 20:49

We're like, I'm just angry about the people that we didn't have our bedroom. We're over here talking. Well, I mean, they try to interfere in those places too, but we'd be worried about what's going on in Europe or not going on if we're being Okay.

Vuyanzi 21:04

Divorce rate is high.

Brendan 21:07

Apparently, actually, so this is an aside, but I I there was a thing going around this week on the internet that was about like divorce rates in the queer community, like among same-sex marriages. And would you believe that gay men are the ones holding it down with the lowest divorce rate? I mean, that's because we're like the least likely to actually get to the office. But at least that means we're judicious about like our decision, you know who is top of the top of the list? Lesbians. Like a 75% divorce rate. But you know the the joke is like, you know, lesbians like make contact eye contact in a bar and they like got the U-Haul parked remote for the next day. So it might just be like a vol like a high volume operation over there.

Vuyanzi 22:00

You know what, but okay, this actually made me think like maybe we need to talk about maybe we could have an episode about divorce because even in terms of age, there's something now being called the gray divorce. And it's the amount of over 50s and over 60s that are getting divorced right now. So I think maybe we should hold this as a good, and maybe even where we are now, what's the divorce? Yeah, what's the divorce rate here in Kenya? And look at everything and uh yeah, okay, so let's do that. Okay.

Brendan 22:31

Making it mental note. But as far as this week's topic, which was mostly voting, and I don't even like our closing my message. No, no, it's stupid. It's like if voting is left in public, let me tell you about 11 private, baby.

Vuyanzi 22:50

But we're still going to show up, okay? We'll show up and vote whether it's the fax machines.

Brendan 22:56

I love the fax machine. I should get me a fax machine and put it in over here. Please don't do so. So I can use it once a year. Well, I mean, Louisiana has like 10 elections a year, so I it would be getting hard. Okay, for an election for anything.

Vuyanzi 23:10

But don't you need like a hard phone line or something for a fax machine?

Brendan 23:15

You need a so that is a challenge that I am willing to overcome.

Vuyanzi 23:20

So let's see if Brendan is able to get a fax machine connected that works. I am who has money on it? Because I'm putting down a dollar on this one.

Brendan 23:36

What is that? No, it's the no that you're thinking of the dial-up one. Oh but the fax machine used to make a noise too. I can't remember what it was, though.

Vuyanzi 23:46

Exactly. But uh, this has been Kisses from Kenya, where your voice matters, our contradictions keep us company.

Brendan 23:57

And we hope you're keeping us company too. Or like I told her, maybe nobody's watching. We'll find out. See you next time.