Kisses from Kenya Episode 4: Language Games

Premiered on 18 Dec 2025  Kisses From Kenya

How much of identity sits inside an accent, and what happens when you realise that English is not as universal as Americans imagine it to be? In this episode of Kisses from Kenya, we explore language, power, misunderstanding, and the price of an accent abroad.

In Episode 4, Brendan and Vuyanzi get into the pleasures and pitfalls of speaking English in Kenya. Brendan talks about how English shifts across borders and how language becomes a mirror of privilege, expectation, and social position. Vuyanzi unpacks the idea of an “expensive” accent, the assumptions placed on her voice, and the strange economy that emerges when sound becomes status.

Together they explore code switching, cultural misfires, the humour of miscommunication, and the quiet emotional work of carving out new identities through language.

This episode tackles accents, belonging, class dynamics, cultural translation, and how Americans learn to listen differently once they live abroad.

Chapters

• Introduction
• Whose America Is It Anyway
• Language games in daily life
• The cost of an accent
• What speaking English abroad teaches us
• Closing thoughts

Transcript

Vuyanzi 0:06

Hey, Kisses from Kenya is produced by Democrats Abroad Kenya, but everything you hear in this podcast reflects our personal perspectives. As Americans living in Kenya.

Brendan 0:20

Yes, nothing we say should be taken as the official stance of Democrats Abroad Kenya, Democrats Abroad Global, or the Democratic Party. And this is an entertainment space and not an official policy platform.

Vuyanzi 0:33

Thank you. Welcome back to Kisses from Kenya, where we are fluent in contradictions.

Brendan 0:41

And accents, especially the expensive one.

Vuyanzi 0:44

Oh, yeah. Okay. We're going to get to that in just a moment. But I want to ask first, what made you laugh this uh this week in Kenya?

Brendan 0:55

Um, I think the thing that made me laugh was um or smile. I got to spend a bunch of time with kids this week. Um so I was up in Anuki, like in the interior, uh working in a school. And it was just, I mean, they made me laugh a lot because you know children are crazy. But you know, I showed up with all my tattoos, of course, and my normally I have like a lot more rings on. Oh gosh. And you know, they're just of course peppering me with questions about that. And then as soon as they realize I speak Swahili, you know, they're like speaking me in Swahili about this, that, the other thing. But you know, like, you know how like especially like little children, like they like all have like elderly people inside of them. So you know, they're asking you like, ah, like, you know, like, oh, you speak Swahili. How long have you been here? So I'm telling them, like, in Swahili, like, you know, Nyakami Tan for like five and a half years, and they're like, ah. One of the kids was like, ah, um. Like, and it's just like basically like, oh, you've been here a long time. But it's like the way she said it like sounded like what like an old like shosho would say, like, because she's just staring at You've been here a long time.

Vuyanzi 2:04

They made me laugh a lot.

Brendan 2:06

What about you?

Vuyanzi 2:08

Uh, this week, well, maybe the you should cover the kids' ears because it was something on Instagram, just so silly. It's a couple sitting talking to a pastor, it was all fake. And uh you don't know what they're actually talking about at first because he's like, but I don't want to do it, Reverend. I don't want to do it. And she's like, No, but isn't it true that if he's your husband, he has to do this thing? And then and then finally the reverend's like, but what are we talking about? He's like, eating butt. And the wife is trying to convince the husband. She's like, You should be eating my butt. And she's like, I do it to you. And he's like, Well, you like it. And the pastor, that was it, basically. He's like, uh, I think you should see Pastor Such and so he's more equipped to deal with this anyway. It just ticked, I know it's kind of dirty, but it just tickled me so much. Political content. Yes.

Brendan 3:15

So, anyway, that made me laugh. Well, we're gonna jump into the first segment, which is our first time doing this one. Yeah. Um, and I think what what was I saying earlier? Like now for something totally different. The world is signing into matches up. This segment is called Whose America Is It Anyway? Where we read different headlines from the news and talk about what's happening in the motherland. I'm already what's happening in the motherland.

Vuyanzi 3:45

Tell us we are okay. Well, Donald Trump signs order designating English as the official language of the United States. That's why I'm like so cringy over this because really um one of the things I'm thinking about is over the years, this comes up. This thing is cyclical.

Brendan 4:06

I mean, I remember like my what is your parents' cousin? Is that your first cousin once removed? Yes, yes, yes, yes. So I remember my mom's cousin, like, when I was like seven or eight, going on and on about this, where it was like, you're in America, speak English, we speak English here. And I remember even when I was that age, being like, first of all, half of y'all don't speak English very well. Anyway, and I was like, second of all, there is no official language with the United States. You know, they've taken away my ability to respond with that.

Vuyanzi 4:44

Okay. I feel, and I think, and especially living abroad, I have such different feelings because not different. I feel very much how I did 20 years ago, right? Or 30 years ago about the same issue. Because people here are very accommodating to me when they hear me speak. Uh, even when I'm trying to speak in Kiswahili, they're like fine. Like, okay. So I feel like people are accommodating and kind to my language barrier that comes into play sometimes for the most like 99.9%. And so in America, it just feels so harsh when these arguments come up to say English only, when you think about how did America start, it's a place where there were many languages that were spoken. Um and and I could go into talking about the enslaved when they were brought over, um, even changing their language. But even if you want to talk about the immigrants that came from Ireland or Italy or uh Spain or England, wherever it was, right? Well, England, maybe that's well, no, I don't that's that's relative to that. The UK English is very relative. Anyway, I'm I'm cringing over this. So let let's can we go to the second headline? Yeah, yeah. It's almost like I just want to rush this part because it makes sense. Yeah. Education department quietly quietly removes rules for teaching English language learners in United States schools, which is like I have to contain my language so we don't have to do one of those things.

Brendan 6:31

My thing is it's like pick the struggle. So it's like you need to come here and you need to speak English, but also like we're not gonna support you in doing that. Imagine that. So it's like which one is well, I mean, but we know like the underlying purpose is the cruelty, right? So like it's not actually about the English, yeah. Cause I mean it's like I just want to make life harder for you.

Vuyanzi 6:53

Basically, right? Because if you say speak English only, and now I'm gonna just blank you over in the school system so that you don't even have a fighting chance. So that thing really um and by the way, small fun fact is it is it is no, it was actually fun. Um, when I was in college, I did my internship at the US Department of Education. And it was at that internship that I met my Kenyan friend that would be the catalyst to my moving to Kenya later on. So, yeah, it's a fun fact.

Brendan 7:32

Yeah, all right. Less amazing is the third headline. Yeah.

Vuyanzi 7:38

Uh the English only movement, cringe, resurfaces as US agencies roll back multilingual services. So if we can't strip away your services completely, we'll strip away your access to getting the services by removing the support you need to even get those services, the language support you need, which is huge.

Brendan 8:02

Yeah. I mean, it's just it makes me think about like like can you imagine if you went to like the the Department of like the Ministry of Immigration here and they were like, oh no, sorry, babe, like we only provide service and like even thinking about that makes me it gives me anxiety.

Vuyanzi 8:20

So it's already hard enough dealing with it, like when you can speak the language, yeah. You know what? And and like the ripple effects, right? Because yeah, we're talking about language, but this is also about mental health because the anxiety that it brings, right? Just to go to that building here, it's like it's like the DMV back at home.

Brendan 8:40

Well, I just uh I feel like it's it's so clear that we've shifted away from our concept, like because typically when you think of public service, like the civil service, like like the focus is on service delivery, right? And so it's like one of the arguments for providing multilingual support is to maximize service delivery, right? Like the point is we want as many people as possible to access this service to the best of their ability. Yeah, but now it's like now we're gonna get to that.

Vuyanzi 9:11

Yeah, yeah, because we don't want to serve you as well.

Brendan 9:13

And like, let's be honest, like I don't know about like in your experience, but like when I was living in Louisiana, like like Spanish language services were almost non-existent, you know, because like it's like they didn't think of that, because it's like we're in Louisiana, so it's only like black and white, and then like that little weird pocket of Vietnamese people that came like during the war.

Vuyanzi 9:36

Ah, okay. So, you know, in this in I lived in New York and New Jersey. Yeah, so there it was supported. Yeah, I know it was definitely supported. I remember even um visiting hospitals where it's like the list of languages spoken. So I it was different.

Brendan 9:52

But in Louisiana, like French is one of the official languages in the state of Louisiana because like that's our history, yeah, right. So it's like are y'all like it's one of those where it's it's so there's always an asterisk, right? Because it's like, oh, but like for our history, like no, we'll we'll make an exception. Keep saying that for all French things.

Vuyanzi 10:10

Yeah, yeah.

Brendan 10:11

I can't anyway.

Vuyanzi 10:13

Any other thoughts on that one? Or shall we?

Brendan 10:15

No, I don't let's go on because I can't for something less depressing, yeah, but equally related. Um, so today's session or today's uh this episode is yeah, I feel like it's a coaching session. I don't know if we said that earlier, but language game. Um, so on my side, um, I was just thinking about this idea of like how like English can mean so many different things, um, especially like when you're an English speaker and you're living in an Anglophone country, but you know, it's like Kenyan English, I mean it's rooted in British English, so like already the spelling, like the grammar and stuff is different.

Vuyanzi 10:57

Uh yeah.

Brendan 10:58

And then on top of that, there's the pronunciation, there's like the way that different words like in grammar translate from Kiswahili or from like the different mother tongues that people speak. And I was thinking of um like there's so many like instances of like mistranslations, but the one that always comes to mind is um when you're talking about food. So you know the word in in Kiswahili is Tamil, which means like delicious, but it's translated into English as sweet. So whereas for us as Americans, sweet means sugary. Exactly. Like it has sugar in it, and for years, like people would be like, oh, it's so sweet, and I'd be like, it's not sweet! Or they or then the opposite is that when somebody tastes bad, the the word that's used in translation is bitter. So be like, oh, this is very bitter. And I and I'm I always am trying to explain to people, I'm like, no, like dark chocolate is bitter, but it tastes good and it's sweet. Like I'm trying to like disaggregate. And so it but there is no taste good, taste bad, it's taste sweet, taste bitter. So it's like the the opposites, right? Yeah, like the the spectrum, yeah, while it means the same thing, is different words, and so it's like when you're trying to speak across, and then on top of that, you know, like when like my parents would come or like when other Americans would come, where it's like they don't understand the dynamic because like you're just here for like two weeks. I there's been times when I just kind of sit back and I'm like, I'm just yeah, let's see how this plays out. And I'm like, okay.

Vuyanzi 12:42

Um I'm thinking about the food, even in terms of spice. So um, you being from having lived in Louisiana, you can appreciate I if I'm asking, well, is there are there spices on the food? I want to know is there flavor? Is there some paprika? Is there some season salt? Is there this? Here, the spice is the heat, the chili. So it's like I always have to like, and and really to me, I'm sorry to say, Kenyan food really doesn't have a lot of flavor for me. I have just, it's like salt, right? And so sometimes I'm just like or it depends on which part of the country. Right, right. And let me say, I'm I kind of stay in Nairobi. I need to leave it more often, but maybe that should be another episode leaving Nairobi. And so sometimes I'm like, I just want to ask if you're gonna make that goat, if you're going to grill it, can you can you put some rub on it? Can you but yeah, doesn't, yeah, that doesn't, and and it's so funny about this sweet because you're gonna get a wish no prayer. Yeah, it's gonna taste like wheat. It's delicious. Yeah, I guess so. I got so used to drowning out flavors with flavors, and it's funny how your mouth gets so used to that.

Brendan 14:00

And well, I like I've I've spent a lot of time arguing about that with people, like, because I'm like, no, like, and they're like, like, I I have spent time arguing with Kenyans, like, especially when we went to Nigeria, because I went to Nigeria with a group of Kenyans, and they were like, like, the food is supposed to taste like the food. They're like, oh, that tastes like peely peely or pepper.

Vuyanzi 14:22

That's why I know I'm totally Nigerian. But it tastes good, don't you? Seriously, but definitely that the whole thing with language and it being. Sorry, uh, Siri's recording us. I don't like that.

Brendan 14:39

Mine was she's so nosy.

Vuyanzi 14:42

I'm like, I'm like, do anybody call it? I know. I looked over, I was like, why is the phone doing that? Anyway, um, the whole language thing is um I'm learning. Let's just say that. One of the things actually I noticed, and it took me having to, and I'm only on lesson 20, start learning Kiswa Heili. Um, is the he she thing. So I'd noticed some people would say he or she, and then finally we got to the lesson. Anna can go for he or she. I said, Yeah, but there's no wonder. Yeah, there is not a gender, because I'd say, well, I'm clearly a she.

Brendan 15:21

I'd like to I'd like to think it's that pronouns are not gendered. Yeah. So yay is just that person.

Vuyanzi 15:30

And Anna, it doesn't, he, she doesn't matter. So, so therefore, for me, I've understood. So, my thing is uh live living here, I've learned in my I call this my Kenya 2.0 life is learning to listen. Yeah, listen and learn. Yeah. And uh yeah, learning, by the way, speaking of which, this accent, this accent costs a lot of money. I've learned that this accent is extremely expensive, and this accent makes prices go up at the drop of a dime. I'm just curious. Um, and and so what am I talking about? For those of you who are wondering, somehow an American accent, or at least a foreign accent, because not everyone identifies it as American, a foreign accent drives up prices. And so, therefore, what I've started to learn is don't speak. So I have people speak for me, and this is even making phone calls. I'll have my house manager, I'm like, you speak, you speak, what do they charge? And then she'll tell me, and then I can get on the phone. And I know once they hear me, they're like, damn, we messed up. I'm curious about your experience around your well, first of all, when you walk into the room, you bring up the price.

Brendan 16:58

Until they find out uh a cheapskate.

Vuyanzi 17:01

Anyway, what's your experience around that?

Brendan 17:05

No, I I think what's what's actually been the most interesting is like now that I do speak like halfway decent key Swahili, like um, a lot of times, like, you know, if I'm reaching out to someone, like I'll I'll reach out in Swahili first. And a lot of times, like like when I have like done that, and then like I'll show up for like whatever the thing is. And then they're looking behind me. I thought you were Tanzania, like, because they're like, you weren't speaking the Kenyan Swahili, but like you were speaking Swahili. Um and then even like like like when guys like when the Buddha Buddhas like come to pick me up and I answer, I'm like, oh yeah, you go up blah blah blah blah blah blah. You know, blah blah blah blah. You know, and so I come out and they're like you, you sure and I'm like, yeah, you may be I love it, I love it, but okay, no, I love that, but it's good because it you can challenge a lot of assumptions, I think, in that way.

Vuyanzi 18:06

Yeah, I can, especially when I do start haggling. Especially when I was like, you know, my word is Hapana. It's a no, basically. And then they're like, oh, like, and I get kind of like I meet them where they are. I may not be speaking key Swahili, however, I'm getting down with the energy. Like, no, I'm not gonna pay that much. You and I'm I mean, at the same time, I'm like, look, baby, if you can get it, get them dollars. But sometimes that's where I become a cheapstate too, and I'm like, I don't want to pay 10 times the spirit of reparation. If they have the dollars, take the dollars. Yeah, anyway, yes, it can be expensive. Uh yeah.

Brendan 18:51

Well, any other thoughts on accents and losses translation?

Vuyanzi 18:55

Yeah. You know what? I'm actually thinking this actually segment also made me think about growing up and the way I grew up. Uh my family was from the South, not that it's deep South Louisiana, but the kind of South, like North Carolina. And exactly maybe Mason. And and nevertheless, to me, it was still the South. And thinking about it.

Brendan 19:23

They had the slavery.

Vuyanzi 19:24

Uh my grandparents and my mom grew up in um, what do you call it? Segregation. Yeah, big time, and my my dad. So it was like the loss of accents coming from the south to the north. And I noticed that a little bit later on in life. Now, my grandfather, not so much, but my grandmother, she actually took so much pride in like, yes, people tell me I speak so you know, proper or whatever. And I'm thinking about how the perception of not being from the south, I mean, it was never articulated that way.

Brendan 20:00

However, the loss of the accent and and you can see it every time like people get to fight me on Twitter or Instagram or whatever, and it's like, you know, you people down there, and blah, blah, blah, blah. And there's so much judgment that comes with that, right?

Vuyanzi 20:15

Yeah, there is. There is so it's it's so interesting, even to this day. And I find found even before I moved to Kenya, when I'm listening to people on the radio, yes, I still listen to the radio for a long time. But even listening, there, it's like we over here basically doing radio. Basically, exactly. Podcast and even Clubhouse. Remember Clubhouse? I remember how I was addicted to it. Yeah, yeah. However, just even like, am I judging when I hear people? Because people are doing the same to me. Am I any different from when I'm listening to people?

Brendan 20:50

So like what does that mean? Like in practice, right?

Vuyanzi 20:54

Yeah. And I think it it does mean how even if it's uh unconsciously, uh, I tr I've treated people differently, I've interacted and engaged with people differently based upon language and how I hear.

Brendan 21:09

So anyway, it's that's also why that's also why code switching like is a thing, right? And I say that as someone who has lived most of my life in places where most of the people don't look like or talk like I grew up talking. Yeah, or look like the people I grew up with.

Vuyanzi 21:26

Yeah, yeah.

Brendan 21:27

Um and yeah, it's like there's like so much to, and then there's also something to that when you go back to that group of people, because like I even like will get feedback from like my friends that are like, you know, you sound like more Kenyan now. That's or like when I lived in the South, they'd be like, You sound like very southern now. And they're like, You speak over here talking about I'm finna do this.

Vuyanzi 21:53

Like, when did you ever grow up and say I'm gonna do that?

Brendan 22:00

Absolutely. But it's like that's there's also like there's aspects of that that I find like in my experience also sign like those signal things also to people that are like a level of awareness of like time and space, right? Yeah. So language actually we could do a bunch of episodes.

Vuyanzi 22:22

I you know what, and actually that's what I'm thinking about because even in being a teacher in uh New Jersey as a first part of my career, I'm just thinking about how I was perceived. Anyway, maybe we should stop here because I could go deeper on this.

Brendan 22:40

If I had one of them people at the school, and I was like, if they put Amna in the in the in the I can only think of this while he learned, in the not in chat, in the passage that they're writing, like that's that that means what they say it means. So I'm not gonna mark them down for that. At least not on a formative assessment. Like I I will tell you that when you submit this to the state of Louisiana, please don't put out for the new anything.

Vuyanzi 23:11

You know what? Because whatever white woman in Shreveport gets her little thing, it's gonna be like, oh, Shreveport had some fun in Shreveport, but that's for a story for another day. Yeah.

Brendan 23:23

All roads lead back to one thing with this duo, okay?

Vuyanzi 23:27

Speaking of which, tell me about your week. So, oh my god, let me tell you about some black joy that happened just the other day. It's fresh on me. Can you see it? Because I'm gonna tell you okay. Yo, so I volunteered somewhere, and um, there was a person who I was bringing along with me. Actually, there were a couple of people. One bailed, and but then one had shown up, and he needed to show up at my apartment because we're taking a ride there to the place. Um he walked into the apartment and I was like, well, um, well, hello. How are you, sir? Are you the one I've been speaking to on the phone? Or it was more like, well, hello. Yes. Okay. Oh my gosh. He brought me, first of all, him walking into my apartment brought me joy. A man, a man, and he was a big man. No, stop. You know, I didn't want to see you have some coffee before you. You want some eggs? Listen, you like and he even asked me for a glass. He asked for a glass just for water.

Brendan 24:50

I was like running to over here, my phone shirt.

Vuyanzi 24:57

The water is, you know. Um, but just seeing him, and then his energy was absolutely amazing. So, and he was charismatic, he was a light, and so being around him for like two hours after that. Joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy, joy. I'm sorry. So, anyway, that is my as you can see, I'm still like, I can't even stop.

Brendan 25:25

Maybe he'll feature in future segments.

Vuyanzi 25:29

Lord have mercy. Okay, and over to you. What about some queer joy? What is bringing what was bringing you joy?

Brendan 25:34

Um I feel like all my stories this week have to do with me in the village, but in a different village, Marsebit, which is like way on the northern border of Ethiopia. Um, not usually probably a place that people usually expect to find the queer joy. I definitely went expecting just like a quiet, you know, I thought I was gonna have my school marm, you know, like lifestyle for the weekend. Yes, yeah, like like with my glasses and my my hanna button, like and a nice, you know, pleated skirt on or something.

Vuyanzi 26:09

Um and instead I just figured you had a pleated skirt. Sorry, I'm little did I know.

Brendan 26:17

Um so you know, I was there with a group of Kenyans for like a charity drive, and um well, first we got in trouble at the hotel because we were being drunk and disorderly, but surprise, surprise. So we went out to the clip, and mind you, at this point, you know, I I had carried like my bottle of Kenya Cane pineapple from Nairobi.

Vuyanzi 26:40

Uh, if anyone doesn't know what Kenya Cane is, say last, child. You can't last.

Brendan 26:49

So I had my Kenya cane before we went out. So like we went out to the club. You know, I was like having a little tea, having a few drinks, went to another club, and then we went to the third club. You know what they say? Like, your mama told you, don't go to a third location. Also true for the club in Marseille, because we went to the place, we're like in the local, it's like, you know, all like the old man from town hanging out with their boys, like drinking. And here's me. You know, my gems are on like the music videos on all sides. I'm here singing, everyone's like gassing me up. And so then there's video of me going from group to group to group of the local men like with my cup, like and then they decided to make a game of it where they just wore whatever they had. So I'm drinking whiskey, I'm drinking gin, I'm drinking scotch, probably some vodka. Like, oh, I'm just sick thinking about it. But all I know is at the end of the night, one of those gentlemen decided that you know what this one? I'm gonna take you all with you. So I almost got put in the comment on that. Until them girls had to come and sweep it and be like, baby, I don't think you wanna uh donate this man. I was like, but is he gonna like buy me a camera?

Vuyanzi 28:14

The Kenya cane was the wrong move. That is what started the problem. I had a good old time. Oh, I love that. I love that for you. Village life. Village life.

Brendan 28:24

Gotta love it. Just wait until I move out there. I'm gonna be causing all the jobs. Anyway. So, in closing for today, of course, we were talking all about language identity um and how those two kind of overlap, intersect. So, what's one phrase or word that comes up you're thinking about language identity?

Vuyanzi 28:46

You wanna go first? I'm really thinking. I thought a word would come sooner. It's still looming right here.

Brendan 28:54

I like it's funny, right? Because I I think like originally I was I mean, originally when we were talking about the episode, I was thinking more about that kind of like Lawson translation aspect. But now that we've kind of sliced it from so many angles, yeah, yeah, like it seems more complicated than that. Because like sometimes it's like a marker of power and like choice. Sometimes it's like a marker of confusion and complex.

Vuyanzi 29:24

Okay, okay, okay. And and I'm feeling very educational, differentiated. Yeah, I'm feeling because of just the multiple heads. So yes, that's what I'm leaving with.

Brendan 29:38

Well, wherever you are in the world, please send us your linguistic love letters. We're always looking for um input from our listeners who are having their own experiences with culture clashes or life abroad or just like funny anecdotes. I mean, you see, like most of the time up on here is the boom boom room. So if you got stories about that abroad, too, come on down. We could talk about. I mean, we started today talk about eating, but let's uh talk about I can't believe I shared that story. But anyway, long story short, if you send your letters to us, we'll translate them with care. And we'd love to feature on an upcoming episode. So with that, we are Kisses from Kenya. We can't wait to see you on next week's episode.

Vuyanzi 30:23

Bye.