Kisses from Kenya Episode 17: Helpless from Here

EPISODE 17: Helpless from Here

This one starts mid-conversation - which is exactly how the best ones always do. Vuyanzi is sitting with the weight of having a client whose family is caught in Lebanon: the helplessness, the guilt, the strange expectation that life just carries on regardless. Brendan picks it up from there, and the conversation goes somewhere real before the news even starts.

In this episode:

• Opening conversation - when someone you're trying to support is living through a crisis you can only watch from a distance
• Whose America Is It Anyway? - Afrikaner farmers relocating to the U.S. and displacing local farmers; Louisiana moves to block an elected Black judge from office
• The Michael Jackson movie - Vuyanzi takes us from a childhood crush to Thriller on repeat to the grown-up realisation that Off the Wall was the real masterpiece. Also: what do Nairobi cinema audiences actually sound like?
• Queer & Black Joy - Sunday dinners and Big Momma energy; a Black man wins in Delaware and the comment section delivers

Democrats Abroad Kenya, Black diaspora podcast, American abroad Nairobi, Lebanon crisis, Afrikaner farmers, Louisiana politics, Michael Jackson movie, living in Kenya, African diaspora

Kisses from Kenya is the podcast for Americans living abroad who haven't stopped paying attention. Subscribe and join the conversation.

#KissesFromKenya #DemocratsAbroad #BlackDiaspora #AmericanAbroad #MichaelJackson #Louisiana #AfricanDiaspora #NairobiPodcast #QueerJoy #DiasporaVoices

Transcript

Vuyanzi 0:06

Hey, Kisses from Kenya is produced by Democrats Abroad Kenya, but everything you hear in this podcast reflects our personal perspectives.

Brendan 0:17

As Americans living in Kenya. Yes, nothing we say should be taken as the official stance of Democrats Abroad Kenya, Democrats Abroad Global, or the Democratic Party. And this is an entertainment space and not an official policy platform.

Vuyanzi 0:33

Thank you. Alright, so this week, it's gonna start off kind of sad because this week I knew I had a client and I was thinking You the one that always wants us to skip the sad parts, but now you want to introduce it. I know, no, but this is very important because I was thinking about paranoid. It's not centered correctly. Keep talking. Okay, so so I knew she was coming up and either I'm for those of you listening on the podcast.

Brendan 1:05

You can watch us on YouTube and see how crazy we look in real life.

Vuyanzi 1:09

So now we gotta talk about both, girl. I know, I know, yes, I know. But those we live, we outside.

Brendan 1:17

No now break down the booth. Let's go.

Vuyanzi 1:20

This is what happens. I just yes, I know I'm gonna be a Debbie Downer just for a minute because I had a client coming up. I knew either she was from Lebanon or Jordan, those two, and I was like, Oh, is it Lebanon? And then when we got on, I said, you know, hi such and so, how you doing? I could see her face, I already knew. And she's like, I'm just here. And I said, She's like, My family in Lebanon, they're okay, but you know, there's things they don't know what's gonna happen from one minute to the next. So just it made me pause for a second because there was she was feeling helpless because she's in the United States and they're in Lebanon. Her parents, her aging elderly parents are there. Uh, she might have a sibling or two there too. She also felt guilt. She felt guilt for feeling how she was feeling and not being there.

Brendan 2:22

Yeah, like survivor's remorse.

Vuyanzi 2:24

Exactly. Like, okay, I'm in America. Technically, even though things are not okay for me.

Brendan 2:31

As a bar, I'm assuming Muslim woman.

Vuyanzi 2:34

Uh well, I I don't get into that part of it. So I don't know.

Brendan 2:38

As a Lebanese person, regardless, right, but in the US at this particular moment in time, there's okay.

Vuyanzi 2:45

I'll just say that. If she doesn't say it, she got the blaming.

Brendan 2:51

She got that area of blessed.

Vuyanzi 2:53

Totally. But it doesn't make her any less guilty feeling, right? Yeah. She's like, I'm in America, my parents are there, I'm still expected to be there for my team, be there for the company, and carry on as if nothing is happening. Um, and so of course, okay, so of course, just uh hello everyone. It's Kisses from Kenya. Welcome back. I am Buyanzi.

Brendan 3:20

And I'm Brendan, and I now have a microphone near my mouth. So hopefully you can hear me.

Vuyanzi 3:26

My son and someone else complained. We can't hear him, my son. Yeah.

Brendan 3:31

He's like She's a yapper.

Vuyanzi 3:34

Mom, we hear your voice. So, so what that but it brings me to this feeling of, I mean, we're abroad from home too. Yeah. Just the types of mixed feelings that one has when you see something going on back at home. You're not gonna go there. I mean, not right then. Yeah. What do you do or how do you feel? How are you supposed to carry on like nothing's wrong?

Brendan 3:59

I mean, I think on the one hand, like, I think that's part of why we do what we do, like with working with Dockay, because it's like, while I see shit going to hell, you know, over there, it's like one thing that I know for sure that I can do is like help people vote to make sure that we don't continue the bad past. I mean, I wish that I could just, but you know, like I'm wind up on the FBI list if I talk about that. No, just kidding. But it it reminds me of like so I remember like especially like your what you're saying about her experience like at work. It's like I remember back in it must have been um god, it must have been like 2013 or 2014. It was it was like around the time like when when like Trayvon Martin happened, and you know there was like that that couple of years where there was just like a lot.

Vuyanzi 5:02

Yeah, yeah.

Brendan 5:03

And I remember like like feeling kind of helpless. Like I was here, like I was a principal at the time. So I was a principal in elementary school, like 100% black and brown students, like 80% black and brown staff. And I remember like I sent an email like out to myself, which like is like the smallest thing, like the smallest thing that you can, especially the way that I can do it. But it was just basically like, look, like this is all really heavy, like if you need anything, like my office is open to you, like and also like I feel like feel encouraged to also talk about this with like your kids and your families because like all of us are going through this together. Yeah, you know, it was like when the BLM like really took off, like a year that it really kind of took off. And my manager at the time, who was a white woman from Arizona, so put that little puzzle picture together. Um, she like gave me a talking to, like a stern talking to. Okay, so doing that presenting that email. This is not and you know, I mean, you know me. It's like while I am like a rabble rouser, I also am like a rule following rabble rouser. So I like also like CC like you know, like a number of our central office staff because it's like I guess I want everyone to know that like number one, this is something I think is important for us to talk about. And number two, like this is what I'm saying. So I don't want there to be any kind of hearsay, blah blah blah. How was it inappropriate, please? What did she say? She was like, I like she gave me so much word salad in the response, but what was also interesting about it was that like you know, I I think it like hit her harder, like coming from me, like because of how I look. So I think there was part of her that was like Excuse me. You're not supposed to say that race traitor, race traitor, you're white with me. But like I remember I feel like that was a period of time where like yeah, there was this expectation that well, and especially working with people like that, which like I have a lot of charter school white people wore stories to share about it. Really, yeah, but like it was always that thing, right? Where it was like everyone was just expected to like show up and like do the work, which like if you were like actually I'm a human being and like I need like a minute, then they would hit you with that, like, well, you must not care about the children.

Vuyanzi 7:39

I don't okay. Let me let me, but anyway, I so it did it made me feel a certain way that meanwhile in in a regular structure, because that's very basically corporate.

Brendan 7:53

The late my client is in corporate America, and it's just well, it's like why can't we name what's happening around us when the world is going to fucking you you can't, you can't, and she because I said, well, does your company is there anything that's happening to she doesn't even know that she trusts to speak to anyone in the company? Well, because just like this, you never know who's gonna come back and be like, well, that girl, like she's stoke stoking hatred, right?

Vuyanzi 8:22

And you know she's Muslim, right? I mean, exactly. But you think if they'll report you, ice might be knocking on the door.

Brendan 8:29

Like that one.

Vuyanzi 8:31

Seriously. So, anyway, uh, okay, so what's going on in the news that's getting your attention, by the way?

Brendan 8:38

Um, I mean, there's a lot.

Vuyanzi 8:40

What do you want to talk about?

Brendan 8:42

Let's take it down south because there's a lot happening down south.

Vuyanzi 8:45

Which down south?

Brendan 8:53

You know that's happening in my underpants. Black joy. Well, it's either that or medical situation, so okay. Yes, let's go down south. So I've been reading about what's happening in in my homeland down there south of the Mason-Dixon line. And you know, we've been shipping them Afrikaners.

Vuyanzi 9:19

Back, aren't they going back to South Africa?

Brendan 9:21

No, they're bringing them they're still coming. They're still coming. So I was watching a video today from Alabama or no, Mississippi, in the Delta, about how black farmers and black farm workers are not getting hired, and they're hiring the white Afrikaners that have come in and paying them more.

Vuyanzi 9:42

Okay, I feel like now that we have a podcast, I'm like, how did we people need to know about this, honestly? It's crazy, right? What?

Brendan 9:51

Yeah.

Vuyanzi 9:54

Yo, that's some.

Brendan 9:56

As if that's not blatant enough, because that's pretty blatant. So I mean, I'm sure by now y'all know that I consider at least my adult adult home state to be Louisiana. Um, so Louisiana, there was this man in New Orleans who was wrongfully convicted and was imprisoned in Louisiana for like a significant amount of time. I think it might have been over a decade. And he was exonerated in like 2023. Like they like finally it was like you were never guilty to start with. This was a mistake, and he was released. Yeah. So he ran for and was elected to a criminal clerk of court role in Orleans Parish, which Orleans Parish and New Orleans are the same thing because the parish line and the city line are the same. Yes, yes. So the city of New Orleans elected this man to be like they have a split clerk of court where there's like a criminal clerk of court who like runs the criminal court, and then there's a civil clerk of court who runs the civil court. So he was elected to this criminal court role on partially on the merit of like I've been through the system, so I know how this works, and I can make sure that this runs the way it's actually supposed to. Introduced a bill which, you know, of course, like like it always is, it's like couched in this language of like making things more efficient and streamlining and standardizing across the state. But essentially what they're doing is they're eliminating his role.

Vuyanzi 11:33

Isn't that some shit right there?

Brendan 11:35

And it's so bad. Like it's so bad that there's even like white Republicans on like the committee that like, you know, because the committee has to review it first before it passes to the general legislature. Like, there's a woman on there who I have personally been in fights with. So I know she's problematic. Even she was like, so you want to like overrule like what the people in this parish like voted for? Like, wow. She was like, at a minimum, like I could see if you want to do it and like have it take effect from the next election cycle, but how are you gonna overrule someone that was elected like less than six months?

Vuyanzi 12:15

Listen, listen, the P okay, when you say this, I just need to interject for a moment and say that people, when we talk about racism and systemic racism and institutionalized racism, some of my people that I've known think that racism is somebody calling it N-word. It's just the N-word. It's the N-word.

Brendan 12:34

If they're all calling it the N-word, it ain't racism.

Vuyanzi 12:37

I'm like, bitches, it is ingrained in the system. It is it is laced in laws and policies that will prevent blacks from moving up.

Brendan 12:48

Well, and 99% of the time, they're not gonna come right out and be like, no, black man, we don't want you in this world. Yes, yes. Wow. So so what's happening now with the bill is so it just it passed out of committee. I think the I think our like like the assembly or whatever the lower house is has already passed it. They've passed it. Yeah. Like and now it'll go to the other side. And I mean, if it makes it to our governor's desk, like Jeff Landry is a piece of shit. He was the one who probably put this man in jail to start with because he's the former attorney general.

Vuyanzi 13:21

So oh, that makes me sick to my stomach.

Brendan 13:27

Um I'm like, we need to bring back hate crimes, but for the majority. Hate crime, white people. Yo, it's let us criminalize white behavior. No, because that should be criminalized.

Vuyanzi 13:41

As far as I'm concerned, you are essentially committing a hate crime at that point. That but that would never happen. Oh my gosh. Oh, okay. There's so many things.

Brendan 13:50

Okay, I'm just Let's talk about shit like because uh I'm alighted now.

Vuyanzi 13:53

Okay, I'm alighted.

Brendan 13:54

Speaking of black or white.

Vuyanzi 13:56

If black is what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because tomorrow night I'm going to see Michael. I'm very in our next one.

Brendan 14:07

I want to hear about it.

Vuyanzi 14:08

Oh, yeah, absolutely. But here's what I'm thinking about, right? Because we're in another place. Now, I've been seeing clips of it on um social media when people are there. People are in the theaters, they're dancing, they're singing. Do you think they're gonna dance and sing here? I don't know culturally, are people going to do it? I might need to. My friend told me, she's like, You're the one who's gonna have to get the party started. So, does that mean I get there early and we get the party started? Oh my god! I am I'm getting some, I have black and white shoes that I'm gonna wear with some. I think I'll find I'll find myself some white socks and then I'll have my black leggings and probably a blazer and something. I wish I had a curly wig or else I'd just wear it, but I don't. So I'm really excited. And this will this, because it's not just going to a movie, we're going to see Michael. So, well, we're I am. I bought my own ticket. I'm taking myself on a date, but it'll be interesting to see culturally how they're going to receive it. However, I did buy my tickets two weeks ago, so it shows you there's demand for them. So I'm excited about that. Are you interested in seeing it at all?

Brendan 15:23

I feel conflicted about it because I mean, I made the mistake of reading some of the reviews, and they all said I'm not sure. But my my primary my primary beef with it is that like one of the main things that people have complained about in those reviews is that like it essentially cuts off right when like all the allegations and stuff started. Okay. And so they're like, you know, it's like cute and like nice that like we like got to talk about like the most documented part of his life, but then you just artistically end it like at the at the descent into madness.

Vuyanzi 16:03

Because we want to dance and sing and have a good time. We don't want to leave the theater all effed up, crying. Did it really happen and feeling conflicted? Just like every time an R. Kelly song comes on, do I dance or do I not dance? Every time.

Brendan 16:18

We do not step in the name of love any longer.

Vuyanzi 16:20

I know, but I do step in the line.

Brendan 16:30

I deleted all of my like playlists and I deleted all the R. Kelly Diddy and this pound. Because we do not support abusers in this household.

Vuyanzi 16:41

I'm not supporting.

Brendan 16:45

Where do you think the road teams are going when you play Step of the Name 11? Wait a minute, but the victim. I'm gonna tell you that. I just want to say that we will unpack this in a later date.

Vuyanzi 17:03

But I used to have, can I just say this? That I used to love Michael Jackson when I was 10 years old. We won't say how many years ago that wasn't when you were born. I freaking loved him.

Brendan 17:15

Before the bleaching, he was great.

Vuyanzi 17:17

Yeah, he was big down.

Brendan 17:18

It went real downhill after.

Vuyanzi 17:19

However, and Thriller, of course, was like what the most commercially popular. But as a grown-ass woman, what I realized is Off the Wall was his best.

Brendan 17:29

Yeah, that's a good album.

Vuyanzi 17:30

Off the Wall was the best. That's well, he was still black with a big nose. Maybe that's why.

Brendan 17:37

It had the popper resident.

Vuyanzi 17:41

He had the color and the nose and the lips and the afro. He had the afro. He hadn't gotten a Jerry Crow yet. Maybe it was because he was still feeling that. But listen to Off the Wall One Day again.

Brendan 17:53

It's beautiful. I like, I mean, I like everything up through like 1990.

Vuyanzi 18:02

Um, is that when bad was out? When was bad out? I wasn't that crazy about bad.

Brendan 18:07

Was that even that was late 80s, I think.

Vuyanzi 18:09

Oh, it was late 80s. I mean, it was okay, but it was given beat it vibes, that song, the gangs dancing and the stuff like that.

Brendan 18:16

Like Michael in the era of like when he was in the whiz, like that's like prime. Like, like that that kind of transition from Jackson 5 to the solo career, like that was like some quality music. And also the Jackson 5, like, especially like the later years of the Jackson 5, they made some great music. Well, I just remember Can You Feel It?

Vuyanzi 18:38

And I like that song.

Brendan 18:39

Don't don't. I mean, at the end of the day, what I will say with regard to the Jacksons is there there is one Jackson who will always have my heart, and that is Janet Jackson. So when she gets her movie, I will be there.

Vuyanzi 18:51

Oh my gosh, I love her.

Brendan 18:52

I will dress up in my rhythm nation outfit. I'll be ready to go. I love her. I'll stand outside and argue over whether Rhythm Nation or Velvet Rope is her better album.

Vuyanzi 19:03

The robot of the rhythmation.

Brendan 19:06

And the correct answer is that they're both her best album for different reasons.

Vuyanzi 19:11

Um okay, so what about some joy? Let's talk about joy, joy, joy, joy. So some queer joy. Do you have queer joy today?

Brendan 19:21

I always have queer joy. I know carried around in your heart. That's one place, yeah. Hello, hello. Well, mine is actually something that I think you can smell there's a scent in here because I've been cooking. Yes. Because so for those of you that don't know, on Sunday, we have Fuyoncy bullied me into. She really did bully me. I was very pliable. Yeah, totally. So once a month we do a Sunday dinner. The Sunday we're having chicken and dumplings.

Vuyanzi 19:58

Yes, chicken and dumplings. So this is where I feel that you are a white man in a black grandmother's. But you are you are a black granny in a white man's body.

Brendan 20:10

I was literally black because it's like whenever I cook anything that falls into like the the realm of soul food, of course, like then I like watch the movie, which was also another kitchen TV movie.

Vuyanzi 20:20

Oh, oh, oh yes, from Baby Barb! How are you gonna make me go home? Jesus, you and these movies. I like cousin Faith in it, cousin Faith. And you guys, by the way, because the other week we mentioned the color purple, and what happened that weekend was I went and I watched the color purple.

Brendan 20:43

Yeah, wait, how was that? What did how was your adult rewatch? Okay, you watched the Steven Spielberg one, not like the music.

Vuyanzi 20:50

Not no newer one. I I watched the original one, so it wasn't that long, it was just a little over two hours. I saw everything differently. I'm just like, okay, she was she was a victim. I saw how strong Um Seely's sister was. I'm forgetting Nettie. Nettie Nettie was, and I really because I I was confused. I'm like, wait, that's her dad raping her, which we thought. Everybody raped all everybody. Right. We thought it was her dad, right? So in the beginning, she's having a baby.

Brendan 21:15

Yeah, because they don't find out until the very end.

Vuyanzi 21:17

Right, we she's having a baby. And just to see how abusive the men were, and it put these women in these positions where what are you going to do? If you leave, where are you going to go? It just so happened that Nettie had that kind of mind that said, don't let him do that. And when Mr. tried to get tried to come to her, it's like I'm out. It's like F you, I'm gone. But that's not everyone. So I just it made me think about how many women were in situations where they were stuck.

Brendan 21:50

Well, or it's like you think about I think a lot of people like read and view the color purple, and they think that Seely is like such. Just like a like a dish rag. Like like she's like a pushover, you know, like that. She doesn't stand up for herself. Ecc, e tc. And then of course there's the whole her telling Harpo to beat Sophia.

Vuyanzi 22:11

Oh yes. Oh my god, I had forgotten about that.

Brendan 22:14

But he said be.

Vuyanzi 22:15

Yeah.

Brendan 22:17

You told Harpo.

Vuyanzi 22:19

You told Harpo. And Oprah. But I'm killed it! Oh I'm gonna beat me. And Oprah was stellar.

Brendan 22:27

Chunky Oprah was her best favorite.

Vuyanzi 22:29

Oh, she was stellar in that movie. Um, okay, but I know you're gonna say something. Yeah, go ahead.

Brendan 22:35

But I was gonna say, like the the thing like I feel like people over always overlooked that there was that whole scene with Seely and Sophia when she was in the store.

Vuyanzi 22:46

Yes.

Brendan 22:46

Where so she like like all of them supported each other in their own ways, even though all of them were not like Nettie and Suge, who were so outwardly able to kind of buck the system.

Vuyanzi 22:58

Yeah, yeah. And and okay, and also I was looking at this scene between um Seely and Suge. So, but I feel like Now that you know there was coochie, I know I feel like Suge was she was bi, right? Because she loved herself a man too. So, yeah, I don't know what Seely was. I don't, I don't, I feel like she just would have been full gay, like not bi.

Brendan 23:22

Because it was no man, there's not really any way to tell, right? Because it's like all the men that she interacted with abused her. Yeah, and like really, like, gender aside, Suge was the only person that ever really like loved.

Vuyanzi 23:35

Besides Nettie, right. And Nettie was gone by then, and was her sister, yeah. Exactly. Well, and and let me tell you, when she found the letter, when net when Suge went outside to the mail and got the letter, and then she saw that all that time she thought her sister was dead and her sister was alive. That thing touched my oh, I was actually crying. I was crying. However, I will say this in the end, because the way we had said it, I was thinking that Mr. died, but Mr. didn't die. Mister, it it has this backdrop, so it's silhouettes where now Nettie and Seely are doing this, and Mr. walks by. I wish he would have died. I'm sorry, I mean eventually we know he would have, but he was such an asshole. And she said, until you do right by me. So he he should have done right by her, and then he could have just died from there. I would have been fine with that. I don't wish death on anyone. This is just a character. Danny Glover was ex he was hateable. Oh, he was hateable. Oh, he did. And how did this movie not win? Well, of course, we know it's what year was it, girl? Yeah, it was in the 80s, right? Yeah, yeah, that's yeah. Even with the white director, they were still like a little bit too much brown and black in here. And just to see I feel uncomfortable.

Brendan 24:56

Well, no, but did you know also? I mean, that's like a very big aside, but I think up until either this year or like the last like two or three years, academy members were not required to watch all of the movies prior to voting.

Vuyanzi 25:12

Are you fucking serious?

Brendan 25:13

Yeah. So they'd be like, that's like a black film. That's not for me. Wow. I did not know that. That was that was why people were actually surprised that Sinners and Win Moore this year. Because they were like, so you like were forced to watch that, like, and you did watch it, and you still are full for it.

Vuyanzi 25:37

And I love that movie. So, so let's um let's let's do some black joy because I mean we could we could go on, and I can't wait to talk about Michael in a couple of weeks when I come back. But so my black joy is this. Did you see this uh Instagram thing where it's just some guy holding a phone and it's the end of a marathon? And so you see this black guy running by him, and so there's a guy, the the finish line is like right over there, and you can see in the distance a white guy, he hasn't reached the finish line, his hands are raised and he's celebrating, and people are screaming, and then you hear the guy on the phone like, get him, get him, get him, and you see the black guys running, running. White guy still celebrating, black guy running, running, running, running, and ran right past it and meeting and got first place, and you know, of course, I'm I'm not gonna focus on that part. Of course, you know there were some comments like, oh, that was cheap, and you know, like really like trying to what's cheap is celebrated before you what a bitch. But it was just so funny when when I when I tell you that guy was running, he was running his hardest, and the guy on the camera's like, get him, get him, get him anyway. That just brought me so much joy. And so with that, I believe we're coming to the end of the show, but I'm excited because Brendan was working on a project before I showed up. And where can they find us now?

Brendan 27:14

You can find us on YouTube, you can find us anywhere the podcast hit the streets. Yes, Apple, Amazon, Spotify, 14 other ones I never heard of, but no offense. We love you, please send us away.

Vuyanzi 27:29

We want to hear, we we actually now now it's gonna be more important than ever that you are giving us ratings, thumbs up. Yeah, give us feedback. Yeah, we want to hear from you on the apps. Make sure you give us five stars because we deserve it.

Brendan 27:44

Sure do send it to a friend, even if all you do is like and subscribe.

Vuyanzi 27:49

Yeah, yeah, that's important now. So um, so anyway, this has been Kisses from Kenya. We need a sign off now officially. So, okay, let's do it one more time. This has been Kisses from Kenya. There we go.

Brendan 28:01

See you next time.

Vuyanzi 28:02

Later.